It Was Like a Spiritual Awakening with Food
Mindful eating has been a game changer for me. It seems like a 180 degree turn from where I was a year ago in regards to my relationship with food and myself. My eating used to be guided by a set of rules to follow in order to try and reach perfection with my health through food. It seemed so simple: eat veggies, stick to complex carbs, eat lean protein, no added sugar, ect.
But the problem was I could never keep up. I was always breaking these rules I had adopted for myself from all the healthy eating advise that is out there. I would go to Red Robin with my husband and order a salad to be healthy, but leave the meal feeling horribly unsatisfied after watching him eat an amazing looking hamburger and enjoy bottomless fries. I would tell myself "you are being healthy, and healthy people don't eat food like that." I would have an internal war with myself. Sometime my will power would hold out. But more times than not, I would end up ransacking our kitchen cupboards and fridge.
Then the guilt. The shame of not being good enough. Of not being strong enough. Telling myself this is the reason I am at an "unhealthy" weight.
Then I was introduced to this idea of mindful eating, and I was able to break free of all the diet rules that had been acting as chains that holding me hostage to a unrealistic standard.
This journey I am on with mindful eating seems to be mirroring my faith journey when I finally realized what the Gospel message meant for me.
When I was young, I saw God as the ultimate rule giver of how to be a good person. My goal was to follow all those rules so I would be a good person. Only problem was... I knew I wasn't. I knew about all my mean thoughts. I knew about the intentional and unintentional ways I hurt others and hurt myself. I definitely knew how I was breaking the commandment to honor my father and mother. I just couldn't keep up. I just wasn't good enough no matter how hard I tried.
But then the Gospel got to me. The story of God's great love for me. The reality that I wasn't good enough, I never would be, and God was OK with that. He loves me anyway through all my unworthiness. God's plan wasn't to punish me day in and day out for my shortcomings like I was doing to myself. No. He decided to take that punishment for me. He decided to come walk with me and with humanity as Jesus. He decided to take the punishment of the cross to make up for all of my sinfulness and the sinfulness of the world. And it is out of the deep gratitude for what my God has done for me that I respond in love. I respond with love to him, to others, and to myself. I don't respond out of obligation to laws and rules, but because of love.
In mindful eating I am learning to base my relationship with food in a deep love and respect for myself. I have ditched all those diet rules that load on guilt and shame. I am learning to balance my biological and emotional cravings I have for sugar with knowing I also need to be taking care of my body with vegetables as well. I am not confined to rules telling me what I can't eat. I am free to make any choice I want in regards to what I eat. And I am learning to make those choices based on the deep love I have for myself and the care I want to show my body.
The shift from rules and guilt to freedom and love in my spiritual life was a game changer. Mindful eating has mirrored that sense of joy for me, and I want it to do the same for you.
That is why I am working so hard on getting my mindful eating coaching program up and running online. I want to help guide you on your own journey of transforming your relationship with food. I hope you will join me.